A daily, lived - out, prayer ~

These last few weeks I have been contemplating my role here at Egmont (Sea Kayaking Base Camp). With my ankle injury I haven’t yet been able to guide a trip, and I have been restless in my physical limitation. Frustration with not serving in the way I had expected has also been rampant. My hope and desire for doing Beyond this summer hasn’t been fulfilled and it has been a struggle.
Part of my challenge in these remaining weeks is to be content in whatever circumstance or situation God has placed me. This is not easy for me as I always seem to want more; to be on an adventure. As has been shown in my life this past year, God doesn’t always make things easy, nor does he always give the desires of my heart, at least from what I perceive that phrase to mean. I am not able to control others and I am not always able to control life, it just happens. But, what I can control is myself and how I respond to others and to my circumstances. To be content in wherever I am placed; what a lofty concept and what a treasure to find joy and peace through wherever God takes me. I’m sure that through my ability to serve, love, and care, even in the difficult places, God will and can bless me with joy and a peace. That is a goal I strive for, and I believe it will be a life-long endeavor. I don’t believe full contentment in this world is possible. I think God wants all of us to constantly strive for Him. Another thing I am attempting to learn is how to truly love myself and to allow God’s love, whatever that looks like, infiltrate my soul. I read this today during my quiet time and found quite a bit of encouragement through the following words:

“Listen to Him, my children. He speaks to you, he teaches you in a thousand ways every day. Through the love of those who love you and live to help you, He touches you, and He speaks to you. In the sunrise and sunset, and in the moonlight, through the loneliness of the things that He has made, through the thousand joys that He plans for every one of you, through the sorrows that come too, in all these things, through all these things He who loved you unto death is speaking to you. Listen; do not be deaf and blind to Him, and as you keep quiet and listen you will know deep down in your heart that you are loved.”
~ Amy Carmichael

As I continually ponder everything that I am learning through conversations with others, through nature, and through what I am reading and processing, this is my constant prayer…..

I want this day to be a new day. I want to walk confidently in you, filled with your love. I want to be worthy, Lord, and to be filled with the knowledge that I am enough. Please Lord, fill me; overflow me with your love so I am able to love myself and others through my brokenness.
You have created me and know me completely. Through you I am known. I need you, more than I can ever fathom. My prayer is this: that even in the valley I can be filled by you and walk confidently knowing I am beloved; a Woman of God.