A daily, lived - out, prayer ~

These last few weeks I have been contemplating my role here at Egmont (Sea Kayaking Base Camp). With my ankle injury I haven’t yet been able to guide a trip, and I have been restless in my physical limitation. Frustration with not serving in the way I had expected has also been rampant. My hope and desire for doing Beyond this summer hasn’t been fulfilled and it has been a struggle.
Part of my challenge in these remaining weeks is to be content in whatever circumstance or situation God has placed me. This is not easy for me as I always seem to want more; to be on an adventure. As has been shown in my life this past year, God doesn’t always make things easy, nor does he always give the desires of my heart, at least from what I perceive that phrase to mean. I am not able to control others and I am not always able to control life, it just happens. But, what I can control is myself and how I respond to others and to my circumstances. To be content in wherever I am placed; what a lofty concept and what a treasure to find joy and peace through wherever God takes me. I’m sure that through my ability to serve, love, and care, even in the difficult places, God will and can bless me with joy and a peace. That is a goal I strive for, and I believe it will be a life-long endeavor. I don’t believe full contentment in this world is possible. I think God wants all of us to constantly strive for Him. Another thing I am attempting to learn is how to truly love myself and to allow God’s love, whatever that looks like, infiltrate my soul. I read this today during my quiet time and found quite a bit of encouragement through the following words:

“Listen to Him, my children. He speaks to you, he teaches you in a thousand ways every day. Through the love of those who love you and live to help you, He touches you, and He speaks to you. In the sunrise and sunset, and in the moonlight, through the loneliness of the things that He has made, through the thousand joys that He plans for every one of you, through the sorrows that come too, in all these things, through all these things He who loved you unto death is speaking to you. Listen; do not be deaf and blind to Him, and as you keep quiet and listen you will know deep down in your heart that you are loved.”
~ Amy Carmichael

As I continually ponder everything that I am learning through conversations with others, through nature, and through what I am reading and processing, this is my constant prayer…..

I want this day to be a new day. I want to walk confidently in you, filled with your love. I want to be worthy, Lord, and to be filled with the knowledge that I am enough. Please Lord, fill me; overflow me with your love so I am able to love myself and others through my brokenness.
You have created me and know me completely. Through you I am known. I need you, more than I can ever fathom. My prayer is this: that even in the valley I can be filled by you and walk confidently knowing I am beloved; a Woman of God.

Long Overdue Update!!

Ok... I apologize for not frequenting this blog with more updates; I am apparently not the best blogger:)

So much has happened in the past month. After our Wilderness First Aid Class the first year guides drove up to Canada and joined the rest of the staff in Egmont BC to boat up to Beyond Malibu's base camp. What a simply rustic, but gorgeous place to be! I regret that I don't have many pictures of the mountain base camp, but hope to share a few pictures later.

Base camp was a good place to spend the first few weeks. It doesn't have electricity, only in the kitchen. It is right on the inlet, where most of us shower (there is only one shower and it is outdoors). The toliets or biffs are rustic porta-potties where one has no door and just has an amazing view of the forest... a bit surreal :) I enjoyed hanging out at base camp and getting to know the other guides and the base camp staff. It was hard work as we had a lot of projects and worked with our training groups to get ready for our training mountain trip, refered to as 10 day. I enjoyed helping out in the kitchen the most, and loved doing dishes as we usually sang.

Our 10 day trip was incredible. It consisted of three days of training at base camp going over the ministry aspect, how to guide spiritually and what it looked like to provide the bible study content. We also went over belay systems, how to pack a back pack, familiarized ourselves with our gear, and got to know our team. I was really nervous of our first day of our trip as many had talked about how strenuous the first day is with a climb of 5,000 feet with a 60-70lb backpack. I attempted to train beforehand but had injured my knee so the worry that my knee wouldn't make it was fore-most in my mind including my lack of endurance. That first day I did surprise myself and definitely endured. I had a bit of a fall after a stream crossing at the end of the day so once we hit the snow I was pretty tired. That backpacking trip was such a challenging experience for me! The sea kayakers weren't trained in a bunch of the stuff we needed to know for the trip so we attempted to learn as we went and the information at times was overwhelming. But I experienced so many amazing things. I learned to self-arrest on a rope team on a glacier, I tried to learn a few belay systems for snow, I hung in a crevasse, I went glacading, camped in the snow, and I summitted a mountain of 7,200ft! It was beautiful! The weather was interesting as it rained pretty hard for a few days, snowed a bit, and had some intense wind. But, I was able to experience so much and this opportunity was incredible. I hope I walked away with more knowledge of myself and of the mountains!

Soon after the sea kayak team headed back to Egmont where we are based. We embarked upon our 10 day training, which was a four day trip. That was a lot of fun, but difficult for me as well as I struggled quite a bit emotionally which in turn affected me physically. It was a good trip for us as guides to get to know one another, share life stories, and guide together.

Life at Egmont has been interesting. It is definitely a small community and a lot comes to the surface in this kind of environment. I didn't guide the first trip which was an all girls trip and stayed in Egmont with the guys; an experience in itself :) During this time, which was only five days ago I injured my ankle. Because of this I won't be going on the upcoming trip this week and will go to the doctor tomorrow to figure out the extent of the injury. This has been difficult for me as I realize the potential of me guiding many trips this summer is pretty minimal. I'm having a hard time resting my ankle as I want to partake in the community life here and not feel left out in the process. So, I am currently trying to figure out my role here and the lesson God is teaching me as I learn and try to rest and heal. I am hoping for a speedy recovery so that I am able to get on the water soon. I am anxious to be able to start the ministry portion of this summer, and want to be able to have the experience of guiding a trip and investing in participants lives.